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My entire life I have been surrounded by great people. I was born into this world with the best parents, the best family, and the best examples of what solid relationships should look like. 

Twenty seven years later I have the greatest friends I could ever ask for. As I browsed through my facebook friends tonight, I looked down the list and said to myself, “quality friend, quality brother, quality business partner, quality teacher, quality mentor…”.  The list goes on. 

Quality – a degree or grade of excellence or worth. Every relationship I invest in I want it to have a degree of worth. Somewhere along the way in my 27 years of life I figured out the key to success in anything is surrounding yourself with awesome people. The best teammates = championship teams, the best friends = having the most fun when you hang out, the best business partners and co-workers = prosperous company.

It’s no secret that the people you’re surrounded by define your character more than anything else. That’s why when we interview a candidate for APAX Software we ask the candidate, “Tell me everything about your best friend”. 

Some of my friends from around the country often ask me why I don’t just leave Lexington, KY and live somewhere with better weather, cooler scenery, a better entrepreneurial community, or a beach. I tell them this every time, “If I could pick 100 of my closest friends and move them with me to a destination of my choice, I would move tomorrow.”  (if you’re reading this blog, you probably make the cut).

While, someday I probably will live somewhere besides Kentucky, up until now it’s not the basketball, the inconsistent climate, or the horses that have kept me here. It’s the billionaire valuation of my relationships.

Before I violate one of the most important rules (rule # 2: intellectual property), I need to give credit where credit is due on the term “relationship billionaire” (Luke, Dec. 2008, derived at the location of this picture).

At a recent entrepreneurial event in Lexington called Startup Weekend I got to work with the dreamteam on a fun, inspiring project that will most likely never put a dollar in my pocket (kind of reminds me of the BookExchange).  It’s called the dreamfear project.  If you’ve ever heard of post secret, the dreamfear project is similar, but instead of users posting their secrets, users anonymously post their dreams and fears.   The idea behind the dreamfear project is that if you think enough about your dreams and what you are afraid of then you might actually do something to achieve those dreams or avert those fears.

The project got me thinking about my own dreams and fears.  This is what I came up with.

I don’t think I’m alone in these dreams and fears.  I doubt I’m the only person who wants to be remembered for doing something big.  I also doubt I’m the only person in the world who lays in bed at night thinking – “what if I don’t find that special someone by the time I’m 30, or 35, or what if I’m 45 and I still haven’t found them…scary”.  I’m not alone and neither is everyone else when it comes to their dreams and fears. 

The primary purpose of the dreamfear project is to get people to DO something about their dreams and fears.  Let’s be clear that worrying about not accomplishing your dreams won’t do a bit of good.  Take it from Van Wilder who says, “Worrying is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do, but doesn’t get you anywhere…write that down.”  Worrying just creates panic and stress, it is a waste of time; constructive thought however, can get you to take action. 

The dreamfear project is an attempt to get people to think about, and ultimately do, the following:

- its ok to be afraid.

- its ok to dream big.

- realize other people have the same dreams/fears.

- dreaming or recognition of fears allows you to take action towards accomplishing those dreams or avoiding those fears.

 Check out the dreamfear project at: www.dreamfearproject.com.

I’m hanging 200 feet in the air above the Kentucky river, 100 feet below a railroad bridge named High Bridge in Wilmore, KY.  What else would I be doing at 1:00 am on a Thursday night?  I’m stopped because my hand is getting hot as the rope is starting to burn through my glove from the first 100 feet of the rappel.  The only thing holding me is a 10mm, 300 foot rope attached to the cheapest harness I could buy at J&D’s, one D-ring, and one 8-ring.  And the only I can think is “wow, my life is awesome.”

 I start to recall the last few months of my life. 

 - Merging my software business with another successful software business. = fortunate to surround myself with smart, awesome people.

- Trips to Boulder, CO and San Francisco, CA to learn how to start a business incubator called Awesome Inc. = way more fun than should be legal on a business trip.

- Coaching a full season with a soccer team of great and entertaining kids. = 5 wins, 7 losses, and 7 ties.  Most would write that off to a less than average season, but since 6 of our 7 losses were by one goal (and most of those goals scored against us were on corner kicks) and the players have really developed over the season, I am avoiding the trip to negative town and staying positive.

- Going on the most random, amazing, exciting date with an extremely fun and cool girl. = lots of fun and a great story to tell.

- Spelunking with the county judge and other awesome friends. = revolutionary, hopeful that I can remain ‘cool’ as I grow old.

- Dancing with old ladies at a local block party back home. = realizing the effects of alcohol on mature adults.

- Building a giant hour glass to be placed on UK’s campus.  This might sound like work, but I have the most amazing friends who helped with it which resulted in a project that was actually tons of fun. = realizing that good friends are invaluable.  Thanks Tyler, Justin, Marty, Rachel, Vanessa, Rachel, and Alyssa.

- Attending Big Blue Madness. = best basketball practice one can ever watch.

- Meeting people like the Mayor of Lexington, President of the University of Kentucky, Founder of Exstream software (recently bought out by HP) and having amazing conversations = incredible learning experience for a 26 year old.

When I started writing this blog over a year ago, I wrote this, “My name is Brian Raney and I like life.  The favorite thing about my life right now is that I don’t have anything in my life I dislike.”  That is still true…but it is actually better than that.  I pretty much love everything in my life right now. 

So, how did it get that way?  When did I change the measurement of fun from dinner and a movie to random nights of kickball and an 80’s dance party.  When did the bar get raised from hanging out at the club to having our own rock band party?  I think the answer is in the people.  I am a firm believer that your behavior is a reflection of the people you have around you.  I have written about this several times already on this blog.  Surround yourself with awesomeness and you will do something awesome.  And that is really all there is to it.  The last year of my life I have surrounded myself with the coolest, most fun, awesome people I can find.  Really, all of this awesomeness is thanks to them.  And now I am asking, no actually I’m begging and pleading, that all two or three of you out there that might read this blog entry do one thing - surround yourself with awesomeness and realize that life is meant to be great.

As my glove cools off I begin to slide down the rest of the rope and eventually drop into the river.  It’s then that I realize that Luke’s ‘last words’ to the camera just before the short-roping high bridge adventure was true – “It’s moments like this that make life truly worth living.”

 …to read more about the short-roping high bridge adventure click here - http://www.betterthanyourboyfriend.com/shortroping.htm.  This is a blog written by a guy named Tynan who came to speak about “living life awesome” at a UK eClub event.  While I don’t necessarily agree with all of the entries Tynan writes about on his blog, two things are for certain:

1. He lives an exciting and interesting life.
2. He is a much better writer than me, which is why I am letting him tell the story of our short-roping experience.

A couple of weeks ago I had one of those nights that made me realize I can be awesome for as long as I want to be. I discovered that Awesomeness doesn’t have an age limit. This was proven to me by a fifty something year old man who took on one of the most adventurous, exciting, and challenging things I have ever done.

It was Friday, July 25^th and I was leaving the office around 5:15. I had one important stop to make before the night of fun was to begin –Wal-Mart, of course. My roommate’s Xbox 360 had broken the week before and this night required one. Wal-Mart had the Xbox 360 Premium configuration for $299.99. Totally worth it I said as I made the purchase with no buyer’s remorse.

I made it to my house by about 5:55. Good, five solid minutes before my guests would arrive. That gave me plenty of time to take a shower, setup the Xbox, pack my bags for part two of the night, and order pizza. One of the guests arriving was to be our guest of honor (we actually considered calling him “your honor” all night). He was a local Fayette County Judge who worked with two of my friends - Michelle and Ben. My guests showed up (punctual as always at 6:15) and we rocked it out for a solid two hours playing Rock Band. It took me about 3.4 seconds to realize that all the awesome things Michelle and Ben had to say about the judge were absolutely true. He was fun, laid back, had jokes, and was 100% comfortable with screaming at the top of his lungs into the microphone the lyrics of Boston’s Foreplay-Long Time. He was also really solid on the lead guitar.

After rocking and rolling at my house we were ready for the real adventure to begin. The plan was to go spelunking through some caves nearby that I had discovered from a friend who grew up here (insert recognition and appreciation to Matt Hogg and Luke Murray for showing me). It was about a 45 minute drive plus a 5 to 30 minute hike to the caves. The discrepancy in the time of the hike is based on how adventurous you are feeling. We were feeling extra adventurous so we hiked for a good 35 minutes. During the hike, the Judge got into a battle with a tree limb which drew blood on his forehead (see picture to right). He was fine though. He said, “take a picture and let’s keep going”. We arrived at the cave entrance past dark. Armed with our headlights, our good spirits and a Sony camera that had a 51% survival expectancy we were prepared to take on the caves. I’m not going to do justice in describing these caves because it is something that you have to experience first hand to truly appreciate. Anyways, here are a few details. About 50% of the cave is full of water, at times above your waist. Portions of the cave involve crawling and climbing through muddy tight gaps. Certain parts of the cave require you to pull out your famous Paul Hamm front tuck double twisting double layout gymnastic maneuver. At the pinnacle of the cave you are literally crawling/swimming through cold water in a space that appears to be closing in on you to the point where you worry you may not have air to breathe anymore. As I said, I can’t do it justice, but understand that there are guys my age that I would not dare take through these caves because I don’t think they could handle the intensity, fear and overall hardcore-ness of the experience. The judge conquered the caves with a smile. I am always impressed with anyone who can make it through these caves, but I was more than impressed with the Judge that night. Driving home I couldn’t stop thinking that I better be that cool when I get older.

At the end of the night we got into a discussion about his successes and how he arrived at such an accomplished point in his life. He simply responded with, “Brian, I’m not different than anyone else. I just took a chance where others didn’t”. And just like that, the flame representing my passion to be an entrepreneur and take on the world sparked up exponentially. “Thanks Judge”, I said to myself as we said our goodbyes and I went to shake his hand. He brushed my hand away and gave me a hug. He told me thanks for a great night…without a clue that he had just positively influenced me and the rest of the group in a way that dwarfs any sort of “great night” we could have possibly offered him.

So last week I was on vacation and I realized there are two types of people:

1. The person that takes a drink from the fridge.
2. The person that takes a drink from the fridge and restocks it with one or more.

The first enjoys their cold drink while someone else gets stuck with a warm one, the second enjoys a cold drink alongside a friend who enjoys a cold drink too. The first leaves things worse off, the second leaves things as good or better as they were before. The first is a taker, the second is at least a giver as much as they are a taker.

When I was little I wanted to be a professional soccer player. And if I would have worked hard enough, I probably could have been. After I slacked off for a couple of years in high school and realized I didn’t want it bad enough to work that hard, I wanted to be a doctor. That lasted five minutes. Five minutes of a Biology class that led to the realization that memorization wasn’t my forte. As I started college I thought I wanted to be a politician. This lasted at least a solid ten minutes. I couldn’t convince myself that I could do it without selling out on certain core values I had decided to live my life by. Not that all politicians sell out, I just didn’t think I could do it. As I grew up and smartened a bit, I realized that I didn’t know what I wanted to be but I was sure of a few things:

• I wanted to do something that would make me happy everyday.
• I wanted to make the people around me happy everyday.
• I wanted to choose the people I work with.
• I wanted to be really good at whatever it was I did.

This ultimately led to starting a couple of businesses. All of which is a long story that has a place in a different blog entry, but not this one. Recently, I gave some thought to my previous aspirations and I found a trend. The trend that follows suit in being a professional athlete, a doctor, a politician, or running my own business is that I wanted to do something extraordinary. And very recently I figured out why – I want to be the person that leaves things better than they were before. I want to the kind of person that truly has a positive impact on every person, event, or project I touch.

A few weeks ago I had an ex-girlfriend give me the biggest compliment I could ever receive. She said, “Brian, I want you to know that dating you made me a better person”. I was speechless…And I was addicted. I want to do that to everyone now.

Here is the challenging part and where the extraordinary comes in. I want to do this on a large scale. I want my circle of influence to be huge. So huge that I can positively effect the masses. I don’t want to run a fortune 500 company to be rich, I want it so I can influence everyone attached to the company.

Anyone who knows me well knows that I have been given a lot in life – great parents, great family, great friends, a level head, ridiculous good looks : ) And because I have been given so much, I feel compelled to live up to an extremely high level of potential. Anything short of being on the cover of Time magazine before I’m 30, President of the U.S. by 40, and winning a Nobel prize by 50 - and I feel I am simply not reaching my potential. Most of the time I am aware this isn’t the type of success I am striving for, but still I feel obligated to do something amazing. And that something amazing I hope to achieve, as abstract as it might sound, is to expand my circle of influence and positively effect every single person or thing within it. Basically, when I grow up I want to the be the person that takes a drink from the fridge and restocks it with one or more.